The Poetry and Prose of Johanna Kaye Fugitt
As the worrisome changes
affecting the country of my birth
continue to increase the volume,
a way to ride out the frustration
is to channel it to other pursuits.
Thus shall I focus my talents
on illustrating what mine eyes observe
via the words I revere so much.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
There is hope.
Nestled, quiet,
in the darkening skies
of our country’s binding.
It is there on the edge,
a tiny beacon amid the chaos,
flickering in a constant heartbeat
of warm light.
It is in the eyes of those,
once complacent in our progression
but now lit with a fierceness to rival
even the most ferocious mountain lion.
It is in the children,
seeing the Lady of Liberty
constrained, tied down,
the words she holds dashed to the ground
and their observance of how their parents
stand and choose to raise their fist to defend.
It is awakening in those true
to the documents held most dear
and using their position in government
to dig their heels in for the fight,
rousing in the great halls of our government.
There is hope,
nestled quiet
in the fabric of our democracy
inching toward the spark
that will light the flames.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
This country is chaos,
years of division igniting
relentless distrust and fear
“Be afraid of this”,
“This could happen to you”,
“You could lose everything”,
resulting in the uprising
of the extreme,
of protect our own
when it should be protect all.
This country is chaos
when the self-styled king
disregards his duty to the highest,
the most revered document.
When daily fits of maniacal outbursts
colors his honor the darkened hue
of cowardice and perceived slights.
This country is chaos
with the only cure
being a dissolution of the order
that has served us well.
With the raising of voices,
and the revolution of truth’s return.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
Once I was afraid,
fearful of letting someone,
anyone,
into the catacombs of this heart,
the many twisted roads of this mind.
I pleaded with the universe
to show me, to prove that
Love,
Love in all its multifaceted existence,
would be worth it.
That the risk would not outweigh
a reward of such great measure.
Sadly,
in the seventeen years since then
love has not found me in that capacity.
It has remained aloof,
seemingly forever out of reach.
Any my fear has remained,
with the gates to my heard padlocked,
the roads to this mind of mine
blocked.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
So young was I then,
so naïve,
so desperate to believe
that there was some place
I could belong.
It took a decade or more
for the truth
to gut me on the floor,
slowly and jaggedly,
looking up at what I hoped for
and finding that all those songs,
all those poems,
all those writers,
were naught but liars
for the place I longed to belong
was by your side
and the thing I hoped for most
was only fanciful dreams,
misled desire for a love most true.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
Whole I may be
even as single as I am,
there are many times throughout
the course of a day that I
muse upon the experience of
knowing someone else’s habits
nearly as well as your own.
How they like to sleep,
the way they get out of bed
their coping mechanisms,
how they take their coffee
if they close their eyes as
their lips meet mine.
What would it feel like?
To take for granted another’s
existence in my life in addition
to those family and friends
who have stayed the course of
this life of mine.
Would it feel as precious as imagine?
Would their touch remain a miracle of science
as I feel it course through my veins?
Who knows?
Least of all me.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
Your hand across my neck
is like a brand upon my hip.
The collar I wear
a physical manifestation of our bond.
The chains you hold,
the welts on my buttocks,
like the whip you wield,
to the rope that binds me.
This is the contract we share.
Should I choose to speak
the one word that stops everything,
you will release your hold,
drop all implements
and with infinite gentleness,
care for my needs.
By your dominance you affirm
that I am yours,
by my submission I affirm
that you are mine.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
Is it you that this feeling grows for,
or is it the idea of you?
Does the affection flowing through me occur
for the blood and flesh version of you?
Or does it course through my veins
based on the dream-forged version of you?
Do I really want to work through
the difficulties and blessings of love with you?
Or do I just want the fantasy?
These questions may forever go unanswered
as the simplest inquiry may remain
the one door I do not open.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
There are days I wish I could be
someone, anyone, else.
If only so you would look at me
to see someone you would want
in your part of the world.
That wish lies at odds with my goals,
to be a woman who does not pretend.
Who does not make apologies,
for being herself.
While I suffer confidence issues,
I still yet wish to remain
truly and honestly,
the person I am.
Even if it means the affection,
the possible love burgeoning in my heart
goes unrequited.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
If I could give you all of me,
I would try.
If you would accept all of me,
I would fall.
© Johanna Kaye Fugitt 2017
in the end i am yours 