Disaster flashes against my inner mind,
possibilities that almost desire to be made true.
I resist.

Dread reality settling its cold fingers on me,
desperation flagging the driveway of my mind,
No entry.

Longing fleetingly reminds me
what exactly it is that might be missing.
The future.
My future.

There is no self-vision of next year,
or even five years after that.
It eludes me.
I falter.

Oh, for warm hands to lift
this translucent heart.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

This place pulls at the hollow void
residing within this broken chest.
Silence comforting, estranging,
tangling up thoughts with doubt,
teasing reason with fear.
Voices speak but the distracted ear
fails to hear the sweet sound
of life so tempting.
Mercilessly the heart beats on,
a deft leader of remaining in battle,
refusing to give up yet.
Pleading for respite,
the river flows on uncaring,
laughing at all attempts to end.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

I awaken again,
the sun filled room void
of presence
my heart convulses once
remembering
what it likes to escape

eyes close
lungs pull in
the quiet air
as the involuntary function
of living
pushes me out of bed

rarely
does that one thing
cross the canvas of mind
by continuing on
by moving my self
blessed forgetfulness sets in

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

Gentle in this moment,
dark in its taste of despair,
for who shall ever reach out
their hand to take mine,
to make me their own.
Alas, a moment tender
shall never be found,
for that grace
will not find me.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017